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OK, so you are thinkin' drinkin'...
The way it happened for me, my head was putting it on me something fierce, I called my sponsor,(I had learned to dial the phone), puked out what it was that the swarm of bees in my head was telling me, and before I drew another breath said "I feel like getting drunk."
He said "OK", and hung up the phone... PISSED ME OFF!!!!
I got so damn angry at him I forgot all about getting drunk, the only thing I could think about was getting to the meeting that night and telling him what a rotten SOB he was, and I did...big time. (Didn't bother him one damn bit that I was angry with him.)
He just looked down the side of his nose at me and said, "Well, did you learn anything?"
"Did you learn, maybe, that it is all right to feel like drinking if you don't do it, that it's all right to be pissed off if you don't drink. Are you drunk now?"
No, sponsor, I am not drunk....
"Are you still alive?"
Yes, sponsor, I am still alive.....
"So what's the big goddamn deal?"
"Damn it, how many times am I gonna have to tell you that we don't give a damn what you think, feel or believe, the only thing that counts from here on out is what you DO...and that the answer to all your problems is in the book, the steps and the fellowship, if you will just DO what you have been told to DO for the first time in your life."
Oh, OK, sponsor...I guess I better get busy on the steps...
"Yes, and in your case the sooner the better."
Oh, OK, so all I was doing was thinkin' drinkin' and that is insane....
"Yep, your disease talking to you."
Thanks, sponsor, I feel a lot better about it now, just stinkin' thinkin'
Oh, OK, want a cup of coffee?
"Believe I do."
See you in the morning meeting?
"Yep, see you there..."
Love and Peace, Barefoot
In Memoriam - "Tex" R.
As in so many things, especially with we alcoholics, our History is our Greatest Asset!.. We each arrived at the doors of AA with an intensive and lengthy "History of Things That Do Not Work" .. Today, In AA and In Recovery, Our History has added an intensive and lengthy "History of Things That DO Work!!" and We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it!!
KEEP COMING BACK!
On the Web Sept 2002 in the Spirit of Cooperation
Three mighty important things, Pardn'r, LOVE And PEACE and SOBRIETY